Battling Bewilderment

   
     Do you ever have those moments where you are overcome with panic, maybe not panic, but an uneasiness that you're not doing the right thing with your life? That is me like 75% of the time.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!  I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one either, at least I hope I'm not! I was doing a little brainstorming for this post and my mind went to the word bewilderment.  I looked up the exact meaning of it and it pretty spectacularly describes my state at the moment.  The dictionary definition of bewilderment is the feeling of being perplexed and confused. Perplexed. And. Confused.  That is me.

     I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure I'm in a constant state of confusion about life.  What I should and shouldn't be doing, where I'm supposed to be, what things I should continue pursuing and what things I should set to the side.  Sometimes I feel like I'm in doubt about every decision I make. I've always had the mindset that God will open the doors to whatever path he wants me to go down and as long as I put my trust Him I will stay on the right path, which I wholeheartedly believe.  But as a creative person, my creativity has emerged in many different outlets and so I have a couple different things that I'm really passionate about.  This is where it gets confusing for me.  What do you do when multiple doors are opening up? Do you go through all of them? That is where the doubt creeps in.  Which path is the right path? Nobody knows except for God.  It's a hard thing to discern.

     So what do you do? The question that the majority of people in their twenties is asking.  Honestly, I don't know.  I am flying through life by the seat of my pants.  I'll tell you one thing though, I'm having a pretty good time!  I also have the mindset that the doors will be closed on paths I'm not supposed to go down.  And I also know that His plan for my life is bigger and better than I could ever even fathom.  So at this point I'm just praying that things are made clearer sooner rather than later! 

     Another worry that creeps in with my confusion about life is the feeling that I'm not doing anything significant with my time. That I'm not making any strides forward and I haven't done much with my life thus far.  When those thoughts creep in I have to do one of these...


     ...and remind myself that yes, you have done things. Many things.  More things than most people your age have! It's something that's really easy to forget and I have to tell myself to get it together and snap out of the pity party.  I may not be doing anything world changing right now, but maybe this time of rest is preparing me for something great that God has planned. So I need to take this time to work on myself and become a better person so that I'm ready for the next big thing in my life.

     I think life will always be confusing no matter how old you are so I'm going to try to live it to the fullest even when I have not a single clue what I'm doing.  Ultimately I'm going to reach the point that I'm supposed to.  I know it's not going to be easy. There's going to be ups and downs, a lot of confusion and doubt, but I know that God's got my back so I'm going to try my best not to worry about it.  I will most definitely have to have quite a few of the, "Pull yourself together!" chats though. I'm only human!

     How do you battle bewilderment? I would love to know how you tackle your doubts and confusion about life.

Be Wistful and Wander,
Jacey


     

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