The Quiet and the Calm

Sometimes American society can view being an introvert as a bad thing.  In my opinion, they couldn't be more wrong.  There is a time to be outgoing and outspoken, but there is also a time to be quiet and reflective.  Finding that balance in your life can sometimes be very hard.   Anything that puts you out of your comfort zone is going to be difficult.  
I used to be a full fledged introvert, but I've grown up a bit since I graduated high school.  I'm now slightly closer to the extrovert side of the personality spectrum.  While I now know how to better act in social settings and can actually carry a conversation like an adult, I still need my personal space and alone time.  I love being around the people I care about and going out and exploring the world, but I still need that alone time to recharge and rejuvenate my mind and body. 

Some of the best moments in life are times when I've been by myself, with a cup of coffee in hand just enjoying the quiet and decompressing.  Those early mornings when the air still has a bit of a bite in it, the late nights when the sky is clear and the stars are shining,  the rainy days that are spent with a book in hand, even the late night cry sessions.  Sometimes you just need to have a good cry and that is completely okay! I usually feel 10x better afterward.  I'm not the kind of person that wears my emotions for everyone to see, so those time of quietness allow me to sift through and figure out what exactly I'm feeling and how I need to deal with it.  For me, I channel my emotions into songwriting/poetry or writing in a journal, and that's how I interpret life.  Every person has a different way of dealing and I encourage all of you to figure out your own way.  Don't let yourself continually trap those emotions though, because sooner or later that space is going to run out.

While a lot of times introverted people don't like to necessarily talk about their emotions, there's also a lot of us who feel everything so deeply and completely.  We don't hold our feelings back, we just release them when no one is watching.   I'm definitely one of those people who feel my emotions so strongly it hurts sometimes.  And yes, most of the time nobody sees that.  Sometimes you just need someone to carry a little bit of the weight though, and for the past 22 years my mom has done that for me.  Those times are few and far between, but she's always there if I just need someone to hold me while I cry.   I'm going to be moving a couple states away in the next 6 months or so and my wish for myself and my wish for you, wherever you are in life, is that you find that person who you trust completely with your emotions and can help you carry the weight when it gets too heavy.   

For people who aren't naturally introverts, it can be hard to understand sometimes and often we are judged wrongly.  I personally have been judged to be a cold and unfriendly person, which if you know me, you know that I'm pretty much the opposite of that.  Because I'm a not a super peppy person that you can read like a book, that is sometimes how I unknowingly come across.   Everyone is going to have an opinion of you, you don't need to listen to them, but I think you do need to be aware of how you come across.  Consciously keeping that knowledge at hand has allowed me to not judge others too quickly for the same things I get judged for.  It also helps remind me to smile a little bit more because no, I'm not grumpy, I just forget to show it sometimes.   

So for you introverts out there who need a little bit of encouragement today, here you go. 
It is OKAY to be a quiet person, there is nothing wrong with you.  Some people will never understand, and you have to be okay with that and learn to love yourself for who you are.
It is OKAY for you to take time to better yourself.  Grab a cup of coffee, a book, some music, etc. whatever makes you happy.
It is completely OKAY to embrace your emotions and feel them 110%.
Find the quiet and the calm in your mind and in your life and just enjoy it.
And lastly, don't ever apologize for feeling too much and don't ever be afraid to feel too much.  You have one life to live so love recklessly,  find something to be passionate about, and feel every twist and turn of life whether it's good or bad. 
"What if I fall, oh but my darling, what if you fly?" -E.H